Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

"What castle?" "It's just a clock!" And other gems from reviewers on Tripadvisor

Dave Park

Written by Dave Park Published on 13.08.2015 11:50:56 (updated on 13.08.2015) Reading time: 3 minutes

Sight-seeing tourists can be a pretty finicky bunch, even when it comes to some of the world’s most famous landmarks, as revealed by reviews on the popular travel website Tripadvisor.com.

The Grand Canyon has been called “an overblown sandy ditch,” Stonehenge was described as just “a big bunch of stones in a field,” and the color of the Golden Gate Bridge, apparently, is “not as advertised.” The Daily Mail compiled a list of the most bizarre reviews for the world’s famous sights earlier this year.

Landmarks in Prague are generally very well-received by most reviewers on Tripadvisor, but even the Czech capital has its share of less-than-impressed tourists.

Below are some of the more amusing reviews for the city’s most famous landmarks from Tripadvisor reviewers (forgive the typos). My comments in italics. 

Prague Castle

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“Don’t go up here expecting to see a castle, there isn’t one.”
953AlexC, London, United Kingdom

“I didn’t see it as a castle. It’s very empty, it’s dirty nothing has been dusted or cleaned for quite a while.”
Denise C, Belfast, United Kingdom

“What Castle? First thing first, this is not a castle, unless you call a bunch of old churches and government buildings a castle.”
– Sho C

“There is not even a castle there, its basically a collection of buildngs on a hill.”
– IRBaboonLondon, London

I gotta say, I don’t get this one. If Prague Castle isn’t a castle, I don’t know what is.

Astronomical Clock

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“I’ve seen more spectacular alarm clocks.” 
– James H, Letchworth, United Kingdom

“It’s just clock. If you want to know the time. Use your iPhone or your watch.”
– Michiel N, Breda, The Netherlands

“Looks nicer on a photograph”
– LLS1988, Belfast, United Kingdom

Well, it does keep pretty good time.

Wenceslas Square

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“Its not even a square […] It was just alot of hotels and fast food places in a big rectangle.”
– Aria B, Coventry, United Kingdom

“Shabby and grim!! The other main sight-seeing highlights are so wonderful that this grim downmarket ‘square’ (which isn’t shaped like a square!!) was a real let down.”
– SUE C Manchester, United Kingdom

I’d like to officially propose a name change to Wenceslas Rectangle.

Old Town Square

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“Nice monuments but a mix between the hell and Disney Land”
– Chasseral, CH-2206 Les Geneveys-sur-Coffrane

“A Medieval Disneyland”
– autraveler9, Auburn, AL

Hell and Disneyland seemed to come up a lot in the negative Old Town reviews.

Charles Bridge

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“This is a good bridge, if you’ve never crossed one before. It has the basic features of a bridge — footpath, stone columns, a body of water flowing underneath.”
– akc_travelerHague

“A bridge is a bridge! It is a bridge, it’s supposedly old..feels old, full of tourists.. but not much to see. I got bored.”
– Sho C

“Nowadays, it’s nothing but a platform on which drunken debauchery takes place.”
– Dreams_of_Alba, New York City

Well, at least it’s not Prague “Castle” or Wenceslas “Square”.

Church of Our Lady Victorious – Holy Child of Prague

“Pathetic, this is not a tourist attraction. A kids doll in a dress.”
– Marellalouise

“This is a doll in a dusty old dress. At least it’s free.”
– Hemmy93, Prague

“I will never get back the precious minutes I wasted looking at this freaky little doll.”
– krust90, Sheffield, United Kingdom

That doll is kinda creepy.

Dancing Building

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“Just an inappropriate building…”
– Ellen G, Brighton

“The outside is strange but did not stand out as you would expect from the pictures on the net.”
– toon-of-macktoon, Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom

“Maybe it’s because I’m not into architecture, but it just looked like a strange building to me. I came across it on accident.”
– dhoag123, San Diego

Everyone’s a critic. And finally…

Man Hanging Out Sculpture

Hilarious Tripadvisor Reviews of Prague Landmarks

“Went to Prague with some close friends for my coming out party. I was deliriously happy mincing down the street when I spotted what appeared to be a gallows hanging from the roof of a building. Standing transfixed in the street I reached for my camera and was run down by a passing tram. The last week of the trip was spent with tubes coming into and out of every orifice.”
– CliffMarsden, Newcastle/Liverpool, England

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