Poo Fighters

Speaking of which, there’s the issue of doggy do-do. However positively disposed you are towards our four-legged friends, no-one enjoys stepping in a steaming pile of poop. Yet despite all those green disposal bins supplied with free brown, erm, doggy bags, some owners persistently fail to clear up after their pets. In Prague 7, a witty ad campaign had cardboard cutouts of famous historical figures pointing to the offending excrement and pleading “Neserte na nás” (“Don’t shit on us”). This may have raised the odd chuckle, but it failed to improve cleanliness. Matters have become so serious that Prague 7’s district council is considering DNA testing feces at the scene of the crime in order to track down the responsible pooches. Scooby Doo, eat your heart out.

“I think an appropiate punishment for sloppy pet owners should be to walk around the parks blindfolded with bare feet. See how they like it!” suggested one furious Vinohrady resident, sick of coming home from a run with his sneakers smeared in shit. “I favour the old rub their noses in it approach, only do it to the owners, not the dogs,” posted another. “I fantasize about carrying a shovel around, scooping up the dog crap and flinging it at the dog’s owner,” an incensed Praguelodite raged. “If they approach you in screaming protest, whack them with the shitty shovel.”

There is one man who is ready to take matters into his own hands: Super Vacláv. This pot-bellied Czech dons a comic book style superhero get-up to tackle the menace of poop on Prague’s streets. When the caped crusader spots someone too lazy to clean up after their pet, Super Vacláv smears the owner with his four-legged friend’s faeces. This poop fighter’s antics are captured on helmet cam and then shared on websites like Youtube (regarding the authenticity of Super Vacláv and his videos, well…).

Dogs cause just as much grief with the noise from their mouths as the smelly substances they produce from their behinds. When left alone all day in small apartments, some dogs go barking mad – literally. A recent thread on Expats.cz highlights both the problem and the lack of any obvious solution. If you have the misfortune to live in the same building as a constantly yapping mutt, then it seems there’s little you can do other than have a word with the owner. However, when it’s making a racket during the hours of 22:00 to 06:00, a period of legally protected quiet time known as nočni klid, then you’re within your rights to get the authorities involved.

I don’t want this to be a purely pooch-bashing piece. The many pluses of pet ownership are widely acknowledged, including stress relief and improved life expectancy. If you’re an expat, there’s another important potential upside too. Integrating into a foreign country isn’t easy – if you don’t work in a Czech environment, then getting the opportunity to interact with the locals in any meaningful way can be tough. Taking your dog for a stroll is a great way to strike up a conversation with the natives and can even lead to making new friends.