Directed by Michael Bay. Starring Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Patrick Dempsey, Rich Hutchman, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, Glenn Morshower, Lester Speight, Buzz Aldrin, Bill O'Reilly, Ravil Isyanov, with the voices of Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving, Leonard Nimoy, Jess Harnell, Charles Adler, Robert Foxworth, James Remar, Tom Kenny, Frank Welker. Written by Ehren Kruger.
After two-and-a-half hours of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and nearly two hours of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, director Michael Bay finally starts to deliver: the final 40 minutes of this film, which showcase the utter annihilation of downtown Chicago under heaps of metallic garbage, are technically marvelous. The precision with which Bay carries out his 9/11-like mass destruction is almost a thing of beauty.
But after an entire movie´s worth of setup - endless exposition, pathetic character development, and precious little robot action numbing the audience into submission - one massive balls-to-the-wall slam-bang action set piece is too late to save Transformers 3.
But it certainly isn´t too little: as a U.S. Army team skydives around (and through) Chicago skyscrapers, the boa constrictor-like Shockwave coils himself around a high-rise while humans tumble around inside, and Autobots and Decepticons duke it out on the streets below, we are, at long last, given something in return for sitting through these last two interminable films.
Dark of the Moon - (poorly) titled so because of rights issues involving Pink Floyd´s Dark Side of the Moon? - starts off innocently enough, with a waxy, cartoonish CGI John F. Kennedy explaining the real reason behind the space race: to contact an alien presence, conveniently located on the “shadowy” side on the moon, which Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong secretly document during the Apollo 11 mission.
Later, 81-year-old Aldrin actually turns up in the film as himself to further explain NASA´s deep, dark secret. As if, you know, you weren´t initially convinced. Apparently, the alien presence on the moon was a crashed Autobot escape vessel housing Autobot leader Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy), along with the “pillars”, devices that can open up a gateway between two worlds (here, Earth and Cybertron). Not enough conspiracy? The Decepticons were totally behind the Chernobyl disaster, too.
Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), despite saving the world, twice, in the two previous films, is struggling to find a job. He has a new girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), because Megan Fox was fired for referring to Michael Bay as Hitler. Carly´s slimy boss Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) puts in a good word for Sam at Accuretta, where anal retentive Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich) offers him a job in the mailroom.
Then there´s Sam´s parents (Kevin Dunn and Julie White), who stop in D.C. to be on hand for comic mugging and reaction shots. And the incredibly bland Lt. Colonel Lennox (Josh Duhamel), who leads a mission into Chernobyl to uncover the Decepticon ruse. And former agent, now-millionaire Seymour Simmons (John Turturro), who gets wrangled back into the alien intrigue with his assistant Dutch (Alan Tudyk). And Secretary of Defense Mearing (Frances McDormand), who doubts the Autobot intentions. And
At some point, you´re likely to forget this is a movie about vehicles that morph into giant robots the size of buildings. That was my biggest gripe with the previous film, and it´s even worse here: through an hour and forty-five minutes, we´re given a 10-second Optimus Prime vs. Shockwave scene, and a minute-long Ironhide & Sideswipe vs. random Decepticons sequence. That´s all the action. The rest of the scenes involving the Transformers are of the dialogue-driven exposition nature. For a Transformers fan, that's the greatest sin here.
As if we wanted to see these giant junkyard heaps talk to each other. Dark of the Moon throws a bunch of new characters into the mix, but only Shockwave (who steals the show when in boa mode) and Sentinel Prime get anything to do. Too many of the other characters (especially the Decepticons) look the same, and when they start dying left and right at the finale we often don´t know who is who. Not that it matters, as most of these robots have died and returned over the previous films.
The human cast fares even worse. Victoria´s Secret model Huntington-Whiteley is, I think, a better actress than Fox (the British accent may help hide her deficiencies), but Bay does her no favors, having her run around crumbling buildings in high heels, towering above her costar LaBeouf, framing her face so tight that her upper lip threatens to overtake the screen in close-ups. An orange-tinted Malkovich and one-note McDormand look embarrassed to be here. Only Turturro (much better than last time around) and Tudyk, chewing up the screen, seem to know what kind of movie they´re in.
Oddity: the (countless) human victims explode into bloodless PG-13 clouds of bone and dust, yet the robots spurt a rusty metallic blood.
By the time the big action-packed climax comes around, the film has lost us. Whatever talent Bay had as storyteller (last evident in the first Transformers film) has deserted him, and his movie is dead on the screen - zero momentum, as dead as a Summer Blockbuster can get and torture to sit through; the action figure equivalent of Eat Pray Love. But it looks great, the camerawork and editing are polished and clean, and Bay´s style is a nice refrain from the shaky-cam, hyper-edited flurry of confusion that passes for action these days.
And then we get the 40 minutes of nonstop action - slick, clean, technically proficient action on a grand scale - and it kind of wows you, you realize the kind of expert technician that Bay really is. But even in the midst of the action, you wonder where the characters are going, or how they got there, or what they´re trying to accomplish, or what, exactly, is going on in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, the storytelling sucks.
Note:Transformers: Dark of the Moon is purported to look good in 3D, but it´s only screening (in English) in a 2D version in Prague, at Palace Cinemas Slovanský dům and CineStar Anděl. Elsewhere (and in 3D), it's dubbed in Czech.
With over 200 professional reviews contributing to the overall score, surely this means something when Rotten Tomatoes gives this film 36% - http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/ Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, as is the reviewer here, and all feedback is useful.
Brandon (Guest)Published: 01:53:36 20.07.2011
If you're really interested to know why so many people love this movie just read some of the IMDB user reviews: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1399103/usercomments?filter=love;start=0 filtered best to worst the first 8 pages are 10 star reviews i'm sure you can find some explanations there.
Brandon (Guest)Published: 09:47:33 20.07.2011
Where do i start? this movie has everything a guy could ask for. if you would have given it 2.5 stars i wouldn't have been bothered, that's fair even if you hated it because you have to give at least 2.5 stars for the effort and respect how many people are turning up to enjoy this movie after the supposed disaster that was Revenge of the Fallen.
here are some other totally stupid and garbage movies that you rated higher than DOTM:
Twilight Eclipse (2.5)
GI Joe (2.5)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2.5)
Twilight (3)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (3.5)
no sane person would try and rationalize how any of these movies are better than Dark of the Moon. 2.5 stars is reasonable and shows you can be objective and respectful. 1.5 stars is just being a hater, plain and simple.
Jason Pirodsky (Guest)Published: 03:48:27 19.07.2011
Brandon, I didn't like Transformers 3. You did. Doesn't have to be more complicated than that; if you need a positive critical response to validate your reaction to the film, you might have some trouble finding it.
But instead of just trashing my review, and using general audience response as an indication of quality, why don't you tell me - and anyone else who comes across this - what makes Transformers 3 so great?
Brandon (Guest)Published: 02:49:09 19.07.2011
Jason, if you're so proud to be 'disconnected from the general public consensus' then who are you reviewing movies for? nobody, and i mean NOBODY, wants to read reviews from critics with condescending attitudes toward the common movie goer. movies reviews are supposed to advise the readers and help a person determine if the movie will be enjoyable. giving DOTM 1 & 1/2 stars when it's banking close to $1B worldwide and everyone in the theatre was so obviously having a great time enjoying this movie (i've seen it twice now) clearly tells me that your review was INACCURATE. so what you say? ok well reviews like this serve one purpose then, to turn away readers. in your profession i would think you would want to keep people interested and reading content on this site, not turn them away with a snobby attitude.
i'll also say that one thing is for sure about these Transformers movies, you have to have a light hearted, laid back sense of humor to enjoy them. believe it or not while you were sitting in your seat being miserable and unfunny, to most people the jokes really work and it keeps people entertained throughout the film whenever there isn't any 'giant robots bashing the hell out of each other'. i can plainly see that your sense of humor is lacking and you take things too seriously if you could not sit through the last 2 movies and call the 1st mediocre. and obviously as you gave X-Men First Class a raving 4 star review, if there is one movie completely void of good humor and taking itself way too seriously beyond the point of being enjoyable it was that overrated borefest of a movie. i took my sister (who is a huge lifelong X-Men fan) to see the movie while she was here visiting, she was reluctant but your review was partly encouraging. well, she hated it and so did i, so thanks for the wasted 300kc. if i even visit this site again i surely won't be stopping by to read any of the movie reviews because they are piss poor, common knowledge though, just go through your review history and it's a joke, your reputation as a bad critic is well-earned
Jason Pirodsky (Guest)Published: 12:51:12 12.07.2011
Gentlemen: I've been a fan of Transformers for 20 years, own the box set of the original cartoon, and consider the 1986 movie a classic of sorts. And I even half-liked Bay's first film.
These last two, though - I can only relate my personal experience, but God, they're just torture to sit through, until the climax of this one, which finally delivers. All I want here is to see giant robots bashing the hell out of each other, but the first 1.5 hours of Transformers 3 gives us 5 minutes of that, tops.
These movies make billions worldwide, so yeah, I am admittedly disconnected from the general public consensus. No shame in that.
optimus (Guest)Published: 12:01:02 12.07.2011
Well he gave bridesmaids 3.5 stars... so enough said.... he likes the chick flicks more....
what an idiot... transformers Rule... the cinema was up in arms and gasps of YES when optimus came back from presumed dead to declare... he will kill all decpeticons... wow i have goose bumps again....
heres a good chick flick for you to review... leglly blonde... right up your alley
oz (Guest)Published: 11:37:16 12.07.2011
This review is absolute rubbish... the movie delivered everything you would expect from a summer blockbuster, lots of action and more action. its no shawshank redemption.. what was this reviewer expecting????? we asked for more fight scenes, more robots, bigger, better... and good old Bay delivered right on the money... I myself will be watching this again... Expats get yourself a new reviewer... this guy thinks his writing for the golden globes or somtehing
CD (Guest)Published: 04:42:54 07.07.2011
I agree with Brandon. The movie really delivered what it promised, nothing more, nothing less.
Brandon (Guest)Published: 01:33:59 30.06.2011
Terrible review, 100% disconnected from the opinions of real moviegoers aka real people with real lives and careers. I saw this last night, people were laughing and cheering throughout the entire film.. the projector died with about 3 minutes left and half the theatre stayed waiting patiently for 15 minutes after midnight just to see the last few minutes and enthusiastically clap at the end. Get a clue as to what real people want out of their escapist entertainment because 1 & 1/2 stars is a complete joke of a review and makes only the reviewer come off like a pompous snob.
User comments
But instead of just trashing my review, and using general audience response as an indication of quality, why don't you tell me - and anyone else who comes across this - what makes Transformers 3 so great?
These last two, though - I can only relate my personal experience, but God, they're just torture to sit through, until the climax of this one, which finally delivers. All I want here is to see giant robots bashing the hell out of each other, but the first 1.5 hours of Transformers 3 gives us 5 minutes of that, tops.
These movies make billions worldwide, so yeah, I am admittedly disconnected from the general public consensus. No shame in that.