published 21.4.11 |  comments (45) |  post a comment

Written by Elizabeth Haas

It’s been said that the European male is the final frontier of the ethnic stereotype, a fact confirmed by a recent spate of American commercials. But for every over-blinged Russian oligarch and Speedo-wearing Italian, Europeans play into our fantasies for their more agreeable traits, too. Mediterranean men are typecast for swarthiness, Frenchmen get points for savoir faire, and all Swedes are certainly sculpted blonde vampires.

But try imagining a scenario with Czech men in the desired role and things get a little blurry. In a country with an historically shaky national identity, where Western ideals of masculinity, bound to conquering and colonizing, don’t figure in, and the heroes of literature and film are exemplars of beer-soaked mediocrity (think Hašek’s Švejk or any of the dozens of roles played by actor Pavel Liška), it’s no wonder that the international view of the Czech man is ambiguous at best or, at worst, outright negative.



Foreign women living in the Czech Republic have heard the negatives. Czech men are unkempt. Coddled to perpetual immaturity by mom. Their puny egos are no match for brassy, self-supporting you. What’s more, they aren’t nearly as fun-loving and flirty as their Western counterparts.

But if the modern American man can be defined by the schlubby, stoned toddlers of recent Judd Apatow movies and their cinematic ilk (the Zach Galifianakising of American manhood if you will), then the twenty-first century Czech male is certainly no worse, and in fact may even prove a better, mate. For those weighing the pros and cons of a cross-cultural affair, some points in favor of Czech men:

10. Czech men will always tell you how you look.
A quality that I truly admire in Czechs (both men and women) is their startling bluntness. The American capacity for frilly, over-polite distortions of obvious truth, isn’t something I really miss. While your significant other denying the muffin top peeking out of your jeans may spare your feelings it’s still dishonest.

9. Czech men don’t over analyze.
Czech men aren’t exactly hand-wringing Woody Allen types. Perhaps it’s due to the language barrier, but lengthy discussions of the “what-exactly-are-we” nature don’t seem to occur with them. You’ll never hear a Czech guy label your “situation” as that of “amazing friends with this intense physical connection who just aren’t totally ready to hang it all out there emotionally.”



8. Czech men are not afraid of P.D.A.
Is there something about public transportation that brings out the latent octopus in all Czech men? As a blushing Midwesterner first come to this land, I immediately took note of the extended Metro make-out as a marquee cultural difference. Women previously beleaguered by shy guys will find Czech men refreshingly on board for cuddling of the highly visible sort.

7. Czech men don’t play games.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve studied a text message from a would-be Czech suitor, reading between the lines of the phrase “I have very busy program tomorrow,” searching for some subtle suggestion of blow off, then firing back a sassy retort only to be met with his complete bewilderment. If a Czech man says he’s really busy then he probably is (see #10).



6. Czech men rank among the EU’s most well endowed.
In a 2011 survey tallying World Penis Size and compiled by Everyoneweb.com, a Web site providing “statistical information offered by trusted research centers and reports worldwide” Czechs placed third in Europe, surpassed only by Frenchmen (#2) and Hungarians (#1).

5. Czech men don’t wear baseball caps.
A recent International Business Times article decried the global proliferation of baseball caps as a “symptom of society’s seemingly permanent deterioration”. Czech men and fashion still have a long way to go, but this is one dowdy look they haven’t latched onto. (And that’s because their mothers warned them they’d go bald if they did).

4. Czech men will shower you with pet names.
The Czech language is so awash with diminutives that it’s often referred to by our neighbors to the north as “baby Polish”. In Czech a single, loving endearment can be stretched into a variety of sweet nothings. Phrases like zlato, zlatka, and zlatíčko (honey, little honey, and really little honey) don’t register the same romantic kick in English.



3. Czech men are thrifty—and that’s a good thing.
That Czech men can be frighteningly cheap—pulling out Sodexho coupons on dates, traveling with their own řízky—goes without saying. But living with one has put my own spending habits into perspective, making me a more selective and discerning consumer, able to better recognize the difference between need and want in a society where the latter isn’t such ancient history.

2. Czech men won’t think less of you after casual sex.
Western society’s (read men’s) deeply held notions of how we women should conduct ourselves often sullies sexual pleasure with the fear of post-coital fall-out (Will he think I’m easy? Is he using me?). Czech men don’t read into casual sex; rather than something loaded with innuendoes it’s more of a national pastime.

1. Czech men aren’t afraid of commitment.
Pragmatism may supersede romance for Czech men (living together means splitting the rent, after all) but they’re typically direct and serious—see #7—which equates to someone who’s less likely to waffle on questions of long-term commitment.

Lead image: Václav Neužil ml. in Zoufalci (2009)
Images: ©Negativ s.r.o. www.negativ.cz

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